Identity

Although I still have many days ahead of me on the boat, I am beginning to relinquish my identity as "Lobstah Gal." For the most part, I feel relieved to be handing over my position to a young sternperson who has as much to learn from Cap as I did. But part of me is also a bit sad. I have adopted Lobstah Gal as an identity and have found great pride in it. This name was inspired by my last title "Oystah Gal" given by my friend Sandy when I worked on an oyster aquaculture farm. Both names conjure slightly romantic notions of a hardy girl who makes a living by harvesting seafood from the ocean/river. Yet, both identities have been quite consuming.

Lobstah Gal is strong, resilient, seaworthy, and hard-working. She heaves traps around as easily as a man twice her size. Lobstering is her life. She eats seafood that she caught for dinner and shares it with her friends. She fillets her own fish. She pees on a bucket, wipes her nose on her sleeve, and stuffs food in her mouth over a tray of rotten fish without flinching. She spits, burps and farts without excusing herself. She's rugged and proud. Sometimes she even feels invincible.

Yet, I am quite mortal, like any other gal. I'm small in stature and sometimes feel that this brutal form of labor is physically unsustainable. My back feels fragile at the end of the day. I sometimes yearn to feel more feminine. I indulge in wearing dresses, make-up and jewelry when I have the opportunity. My intellect longs to be activate. My creative side wants time and energy to express itself. I feel my love for the ocean as strongly as ever, yet I wonder if perhaps there is a more balanced way of appreciating the sea. I feel that there are other opportunities out there awaiting me. I want to discover them.

I was able to bid farewell to Oystah Gal and, likewise, I will move on from this identity. It is important for me to remember that my occupation is not my identity. Lobstah Gal doesn't define who I am, nor does any other title. While lobstering has indeed consumed much of my time and energy, I'm not only a sternlady. I'm also a dancer, musician, daughter, friend, and many other things. I am K. T. regardless of my current job. I strive to satisfy all of my many identities by leading a balanced lifestyle. I will always be a fisherwoman, whether I am lobstering every day or catching a mackerel with my dad. The ocean is part of me and that will never change.