Afloat

I had an amusing thought today: How would I describe my job to someone who works in a cubicle? I'm not sure why this idea crossed my mind. I don't actually know anyone who works in a cubicle. But there are many such people out there and I guess I thought I should be prepared. :)

Here goes nothin'.

Well, first take your comfy little cubicle and float it on the ocean. You aren't looking at a plastic wall anymore; you're looking out at islands and open ocean. There are other cubicles afloat out there. It is no longer a stable surface. It is constantly in motion and so you must move with it. Not against it, but with it. Hope you don't get seasick. Next replace your sterile air conditioning with a fresh, salty sea breeze. Aaaah, now isn't that better?

OK, now that you think this is a fun picnic, I'm gonna take your padded, lumbar-supporting, twirly chair away. That's right. You can keep your desk, but no chair. You have to stand all day.

I'll spare you the embarrassment of changing your attire in front of me, but I would recommend rubber boots, gloves, and Grundens over your pressed Armani suit and loafers. Besides, I think they might suit you better. ;)

Like your coffee breaks, do you? Well, sorry, bud, but you don't have those anymore. Actually there are no formal breaks at all. You have to hurry to eat, drink, and urinate between strings of traps, when there is a short steam. Oh yeah and there's no bathroom aboard. Your throne is a bucket. So byo-TP.

Hmmm. . . what else? Oh, yes. Instead of your boss and co-workers sending you "memos" on little sticky notes, you get verbal memos on the VHF radio. But the memos are no longer regarding deadlines and important phone conferences. Instead they are about traps that your buddy recovered for you and which way the tide is running. They are regarding your surrounding environment instead of abstract goals.

The end of the day is no longer marked by the hour hand on your Rolex striking 5 o-clock. It is the end of the day when your captain says so. No if's, and's or but's. And certainly no complaining. If your feet hurt, suck it up and bear it. Swearing is permitted if a hardshell pinches you. Yelling is only appropriate for falling overboard. Don't bother with chit-chat. It will fall on deaf ears.