Preferred (Pro)nouns

When I graduated from Smith College (a "women's college"), the transgender movement was gaining a voice among the institution's beaurocracy. Talk of "ze" (the gender-neutral pronoun used instead of "he" or "she) buzzed in the air. I sometimes wasn't sure about the preferred pronouns of my classmates. My girlfriends were thinking that they might rather be guyfriends. Voices were lowering a full octave with the help of "T" (self-administered testosterone shots). And biological transformations were occuring via gender-altering surgery. Transgender students were protesting the feminine image of the college and demanding that the constitution be altered to account for them. Gender was a touchy subject, to say the least.

As I have mentioned before, I am still involved in a community defined greatly by gender, but at the opposite end of the spectrum. In a culture that is largely masculine, I sometimes feel that there is a particular sensitivity toward women. The guys make an effort not to offend me. Older members of the male-dominated fishing community sometimes aren't sure what to think of a young lady, who isn't directly affiliated with lobstering via marriage or bloodline, wanting to participate in their profession. Elders in particular are sometimes awkward when referring to my title, unsure of my preferred noun.

One day this winter a retired fisherman stopped by the dock to hob-nob with Cap as we were pulping shrimp bait. As he was getting ready to leave, he dismissed himself, saying something like "Think I'll go have a beeah in my yahd." I commented "Nice day for it." He chuckled saying to Cap "Listen to your sternma-- . . . sternlady!" I smiled at his indecision.

Another time on the boat, one of Cap's friends and colleagues pulled up alongside us to chat. As he left he gave me a little sideways grin and said to Cap "Where'd you get such a cute sternperson anyway?" This guy had thought it over already and decided on a gender-neutral noun. Not surprising since his daughter was his sternlady for years.

There are also subtleties that distinguish myself from the guys. One day we were visiting with another fisherman who's my father's age in Cap's workshop as we worked on gear. This gentleman was talking about the oil spill and getting quite disgusted the more he talked about it. His tone was angry, but he was using very tame expletives to punctuate his statements. He stopped to explain with a grin that he was toning his swearing down on account of me. I told him that I didn't give a damn whether he swore or not. But his traditional views held and he wouldn't ease up on censoring himself in my presence.

As the title of this blog implies I am proud to be a woman and like to be recognized as such. My preferred noun is "sternlady." Linda Greenlaw, on the other hand, has the opposite stance: she doesn't want to be distinguished as a woman and would rather be called the masculine form of the noun (but, in her case, there's no distinguishing gender in her title: "captain"). However, I certainly am not offended by the title of "sternman." Frankly, I'm receptive to whatever the boys want call me as long as it isn't vulgar.