Nicknames

Today when I went to visit Grandpa in The Home, another local old-timer had beat me to it. He was sitting next to Grandpa reading a list: "Spareribs, Tadpole, Skeet . . . " You'd 'a' thought they were practicing vocab to take the SAT or some such nonsense. But Grandpa wasn't replying with definitions or synonyms. Nope, his responses were names. You see "Don" was testing how well Grandpa knew nicknames of the locals. Grandpa can't remember appointments or mealtimes very well, but by gosh I'd say he knew a good 90% of the nicknames listed on that sheet. Don gave him an A on the nickname test.

Nicknames, like boat names and bouy colors, are a form of local identification. But unlike boats and buoys, people don't commonly take pride in their nickname. It isn't a self-appointed pronoun. In fact others often pick the humorous identifying words from humiliating past events or physical/character flaws. Sometimes a person is dubbed as a mere child and the nickname sticks for life. Grandpa told stories behind the names as Don read them: "Yard." "Yahd was small for his age. When he got that name he was just a yahd long." These names may describe a person physically (Wimpy, Pinhead, Barnsmell, Lardass) or might allude their personality (Silent, Hurricane (my great-grandpa), Weasel).

Other names recall a particular situation. I don't think "By the hopping" should count as a nickname due to it's length. Apparently this fellah was a Monheganer who came to the mainland to fish for smelts. He was told off since he was from the Island. His reply was "By the hoppin' Jesus, my mother was from here. I can fish if I want!" A good friend of my Grandpa's and a real character was "Biscuits." Grandpa has a picture of this rather portly fellow in waders next to his armchair. I learned how Biscuits got his name today, even though I've heard talk of him most of my life. It was a rather anticlimactic story, actually. Biscuits brought biscuit sandwiches to school as a child. They coulda done better on that one.

Some other good ones: Bedbug, Tinker, Potty, Pooch, Banjo. Fossett (a common local name) is also a surname providing many golden opportunities for nicknames such as Drippy Fossett and his son Leaky.

For the first time in my life, I learned that my father himself has a nickname. I've always been amused by local nicknames, but it never crossed my mind to ask if Daddy had one. I was disappointed that he wouldn't tell me. I guess, like all the others, it isn't especially flattering. I think I would know by now if I had one. Or would I . . . ?