Greetings

Something I've never understood is why waving and even just acknowledging another's presence is so offensive to city folks. I know that urban life is a very different social culture than that of the fishing community in which I grew up. That there is an undercurrent of fear and distrust of strangers in a small area with so many people crammed in. That not all city-dwellers share my opinion that humans are essentially good when it comes down to it and that strangers deserve to be treated as such. Yet what is the harm in a little wave of acknowledgement? And why is a friendly "Hello" to a stranger so suspicious? One thing's for sure: I was never cut out to live in the city.

My parents used to take me to New York City for a few days in the winter when I was younger. Being the happy-go-lucky country folks that we are, my father and I used to derive great amusement from walking the sidewalks and hailing complete strangers with boisterous greetings. As we drove the streets, Daddy would do his best to wave at every car we passed just like he does back home, although this was an insurmountable task.

Waving is considered common courtesy at home. Driving down the main road that runs north and south along the Peninsula in the dead of winter, a local can recognize most passer-bys. Salutations from behind the steering wheel can range from lifting one finger in indifference to flailing both hands wildly, scaring the receiver of such an enthusiastic greeting. It is considered rude not to return a wave, regardless of its nature.

The same etiquette is true on the water. Captains tend to know every boat on the water and if one doesn't wave it is either because he knows the other cut his buoys or because he is too engrossed in untangling a snarl to acknowledge other human life at that moment. I wouldn't call my Cap an over-enthusiastic waver. A stoic, low-profile sweep of the hand is a warm greeting from Cap. I, on the other hand, lack the complicated history and, often times, knowledge of bad reputations and so I hail all crafts with a friendly wave and a smile.

If my hands are busy at work when another seafarer waves at me, I give them the nod and a smile. The nod is an abrupt upward motion of the head accentuated by the bill of one's cap. It can also be a conservative greeting when someone's "too cool" to wave. I admit that sometimes when a tourist waves at me and I don't feel in the mood to be friendly to strangers, I nod in reply. That way I am still acknowledging them, without being insincere with an artificially enthusiastic wave. The nod is a happy compromise.

Upon my return to the water this winter I noticed that the fishermen recognized my child-like stature and pony-tailed cap on the stern of Cap's boat. They had either heard rumor of me working for Cap again or recognized me, which isn't surprising since I was the only woman on the water at the time. I waved in my usual manner and in return received some very bubbly responses. These waves were different than the ones John received. I daresay they were girly waves. Not just a low-down sweep of the arm, but rapid hand gestures flexing at the wrist held above the head so that I wouldn't miss them. Once I was even greeted by a sternman, who I consider a good friend, flailing both arms wildly in the air to my slight embarassment and amusement.

Waving, in my opinion, is not just common courtesy in these parts, but a form of personal acknowledgement. Some fishermen have distinctive greetings that they only share with one another. For example, my father and a local lobsterman have a sort of nasal growl that they exchange, which apparently is an imitation of a long-deceased old timer who used to emit a similar noise.

So next time you drive or walk through New Harbor, Maine, wave. You might be surprised at who you meet and how they greet.